It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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