Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
