I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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