he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
