U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize