You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I need to sanitize my soul.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
