My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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