I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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