he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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