I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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