If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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