Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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