Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
