i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Randomize
