Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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