hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
