they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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