Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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