it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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