so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
