Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
