I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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