remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
