yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
