the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
