That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
