Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
