ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So much Jack, so little girl.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
