I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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