She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
