his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Let's get the cat blown out
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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