my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
