R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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