That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
