you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
