i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
honey bunches of taint.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
