Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
