Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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