I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Randomize
