Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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