he shaved USA in his pubs
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
