I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Who died my cat blue again?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
