I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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