Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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