GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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