so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
