she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
