what if every blade of grass was a penis?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
