I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
