Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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