I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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