Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
