I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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