ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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