Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
