imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
