You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
