His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
