Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize