it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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