last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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