friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
