Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
