my room smells like sperm. sweet.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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