do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
