Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
