And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
