thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
